No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
