okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He passed out mid-signature
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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