I think I am morally bankrupt
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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