so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
