If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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