I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
