no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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