the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
