he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
