Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
