I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize