I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
