omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
