I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
