i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize