Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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