My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
