You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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