He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Are we still banned from the library?
Mom said you looked used
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
