that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
