I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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