Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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