honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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