..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have demons in me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
