i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
