Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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