Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
