I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
