This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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