Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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