i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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