covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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