Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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