recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
