May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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