Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize