; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I know her cup size but not her name....
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
