dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
