Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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