Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
