ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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