just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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