Please, let me fuck your mom
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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