The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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