therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize