anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
