he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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