I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize