She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
