i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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