I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
