we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize