Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
