I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
