I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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