i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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