After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
