You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
