I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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