I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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