I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
