they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Actions speak louder than pants.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
