I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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