I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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