the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize