Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
