I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
